The Real ZAGR
by Zim'sBaka
Summary: Gaz's first year at Hi Skool, but of course, it's not going to be easy. Finding batteries for her GS 2 being the least of her worries. Cheerleaders, Chip, a certain alien and Dib just don't know when to shut up. And what is with that song by Crazy Town
1. Hi-Skool, can't anyone spell?!

The Real ZAGR  
  
Disclaimer: Invader Zim DOES NOT belong to me...  
  
A/N: What can I say; I think I'm a ZAGR addict! Actually, I like all the romances, RaPR, ZaDr! I just can't write any of those. I'm not talented enough! Now, I wanted to try and make a realistic Zim and Gaz romance! I like all the ones that are out there, but they are all normally angsty! Yes, even I, me, perfect ZB, have written one of those. (Which I am very proud of, so P) Anyways...this is Gaz's first year in the 'Hi Skool'.... As you can tell! So read, and enjoy it! I COMMAND YOU TO ENJOY!   
  
  
  
Looming on the horizon was a large red brick building. A football/track field was off to the right, while a baseball diamond sat on the left. A cement sign sat out in the front, surrounded by dirt with twigs sticking out of it. "HI SKOOL" were the words scribed into the gray block.   
Standing on the path in front of the skool, were two figures.   
One was a tall, thin boy with a large pair of glasses over brown eyes. He wore a black trench coat and a dark green shirt underneath. His lower half wardrobe consisted of blue jeans and large black boots. Oh yeah, on the side note his head was pretty big. "My head's not big!"   
The other person was a short, pale, thin female with spiky purple hair pulled back into a ponytail and some strands hanging over around her face. You couldn't really see her eyes. She was wearing a large black T-shirt over a purple long sleeved shirt and black jeans. "Dib. I have finally decided that there isn't a god."   
Dib, or the boy, looked at her. "What?"   
"You heard me. If there was a god, I wouldn't be stuck coming to this place." She continued.   
"Aw, Gaz. High School isn't that bad, I mean, I made it through my first year." Dib said, reassuringly.   
"I never said that High School was bad, but the fact that I have to be around you again is sickening." Gaz said impassively, before taking off towards the building.   
Dib stood there, confused.   
  
Gaz crossed her arms as she waited for her guide to come. A few kids stood next to her, chatting. "Please don't let my guide be Dib, please don't let my guide be Dib," she silently pleaded.   
The people around her fell silent and Gaz saw why. Their guide was there. A tall, green skinned boy. Some kind of horrible looking Elvis style hair, and large bluish eyes.   
He wore a fuchsia tank top over a melon colored long sleeved shirt. Black gloves, boots and pants.   
"Hello and welcome to Hi Skool," he said quickly. "I am ZIM! Your guide pig on your first horrible adventure into this poorly run learning facility."  
A few of the others fidgeted, but Gaz was used to rants like this.  
"Let's see. While you're in Hi Skool, you will learn about the greatness of Zim. You will love Zim. YOU WILL OBEY HIM!!! Me...." Zim blinked.   
One of the blonde girls, standing near Gaz, smirked. "Loser!" She made the sign with her hand.   
Zim scowled, "No! Zim is not this loser. You feel honored in the presence of my greatness!!!!!"   
"Yeah right," she said before walking away. Most of the group followed her, besides Gaz and some other dorky looking kids.   
Gaz had a small smile, when she heard a familiar voice. "And that, is Zim. He's an ALIEN! Stay away from him. He might try and....Eat your brains or something!"   
Dib was leading another small group.   
"Your head is too big for your brain Dib!" Zim snapped back.   
"My head's not big!" Dib yelled defensively.   
"Your voices are REALLY annoying." Gaz stated, causing Zim and Dib both to look at her.   
She then turned and walked towards a soda machine. Pushing two quarters into the slot, she chose a Dr. Poop. She pulled out the red can, and looked back at her brother and Zim. They were glaring at each other, fists clenched. Gaz started to shake the soda up as she walked back.   
"Are you guys still choosing to be annoying?" She asked, as she stopped next to them.   
"Gaz! This is not annoying, this is business fo-!" Dib yelped as a spray of soda hit him and set him flying backwards.   
Zim smiled at his enemies state, and then saw Gaz aim the soda at him. Before he could react, the spray of sugar and caffeine hit him, causing his skin to burn. The green skinned boy fell back and started to shriek in agony.   
Then Gaz turned and looked at a few of the other students, who quickly ran off.   
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!" Zim was rolling around on the grass, while Dib tenderly picked grass off of his jacket.   
  
Gaz was now sitting in a large auditorium, listening to some really big guy, wearing a jersey that said Torque, and a really bad haircut talk about joining sports. "Yeah, if you join sports, then you can..........You can.........."   
He soon left the stage, and a group of girls got up on the stage. They were wearing tight white belly shirts that had brown around the wrists, neck, and the bottom on the shirt. Walnuts was also written across the chest. They were also wearing brown pleated skirts, white knee socks and white tennis shoes. "My name's Jessica, and I'm the cheerleader captain! We're here to tell you how you should join and stuff, though; none of you will ever be as cool as me. So, without having to explain in long boring words, we shall show you how cool we are, so that you want to be one of us!"   
With that, other girls started to assemble on the stage. The lights went out in the gym, except for over the stage.   
Then, the music started.   
"Come my lady, come come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby."   
The cheerleaders went into some freakish looking dance, that, if Gaz was a guy, might have cared.   
A few minutes later, all the males in the room had nosebleeds, and most of the girls had stars in their eyes. Gaz, on the other hand, was trying to figure out if there was a law against killing cheerleaders.   
After the cheerleaders left the stage, the principal walked out with toilet paper shoved into both nostrils. He was a tall, balding man wearing a very ugly gray suit. "Well, that was a great performance! Yes, now, just a reminder, at least one extracurricular activity is required! So, go riot on trying to get the bests ones!" With those last words, the auditorium suddenly was emptied as the high schoolers rushed to the gym to sign up.   
Gaz followed the stampede of students into a large dry wall room with plastic floors. Some basketball hoops were hanging down, and it pretty much looked like a normal gym, besides the large mural of the school mascot, Chip the Acorn.   
Gaz walked past the more populated sign up areas, and over to a deserted part of the gym. "Graphic Arts Club" were the words on top of the sheet of paper. So far, there were a few names. Gaz quickly signed up, and then looked for a clock. Hopefully, they'd let out soon.   
She felt someone looking at her, and turned to look into a familiar pair of blue eyes. "What do you want?"   
Zim crossed his arms, "I'm supposed to welcome new members."   
"What are you, the president?" Gaz asked, thinking of the pros and cons if he was.  
"Not yet," Zim looked at Gaz, "but do not fear, soon, my incredible persuasive Zimness shall have everyone begging me to lead their pathetic lives!"   
"Has anyone ever told you that you are really annoying?"   
"Zim is not annoying! Zim is your object of undying devotion!" Zim boasted, smirking.   
"Look, Dib's got an autopsy table!" Gaz said, faking shock.   
"What?!" Zim looked around panicked, as Gaz started to laugh.   
Zim turned around, glaring at Gaz, "you think you have humiliated Zim?! Ha! I laugh at your pitiful attempt...at humiliation and stuff."   
Gaz stopped laughing, and opened one eye to stare at Zim, who started to fidget under her gaze. "Why are you in the Graphic Arts Club anyways? Shouldn't you be in an alien club or something?"   
"Why would I be in an alien club? I am not alien, I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL!" Zim said loudly, looking around.   
Gaz's brow furrowed, "you didn't answer my other question."   
"I don't have to tell you," Zim said like a spoiled kid, and crossed his arms.   
Gaz sighed, when a ringing sound reached her ear. The bell, finally, this horrible half first day was over. She turned and walked towards the bright green exit sign, heading out into the sunlight and away from the horrible building. "That place has to be ten times worse then being in a room full of Dib's." She thought out that statement, "nah, maybe not." 


	2. What Kind of Hair Gel Does He Use?

The Real ZAGR  
Chapter 2:   
What Kind of Hair Gel Does He Use?   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim! I think...  
  
A/N: Woo! Next chappie! ::Does happy dance:: I like writing this it's fun! Hey, I like this song! listening to Vanessa Carlton, 1000 Miles on computer, over and over and over* On to the enjoying!   
  
  
Through the corner of her eyes, Gaz saw Dib run up next to her, "can't you go annoy someone else?"   
Dib didn't respond. He was looking at a little group of kids in the middle of the street. A blonde girl with her hair parted in pigtails and wearing a pink dress, a short boy wearing a blue shirt and a red cap, two red headed twins both wearing green, and last was a tall brown haired boy wearing a rainbow cap. They were all staring up into the sky, and Dib smiled. "Look at it Gaz. See those little kids, just think, if Zim was ruling the world, there wouldn't be any clouds to watch."   
Gaz looked at the little kids just as one of the redheaded twins head's caught on fire. The others started laughing, as they screaming in agony. "Looks like you lost stare at the sun!" The brown haired boy said mockingly, then turned to his comrades, "everyone got their weenies?"   
The whole group, besides the poor soul whose head was on fire, pulled out long sticks with fat hot dogs on the end of them. They raised them just over the burning head, and giggled as they roasted them. By the time the kids were all chewing on the juicy weenies, the little kid was a pile of ashes on the ground.   
"I don't think they were staring at the sun," Gaz said bluntly.   
Dib looked back at the kids, who were once again staring up into the sky, "what else would they be doing? Hey! You don't think they could be watching for aliens!"   
Gaz shrugged as the large blue house came into view. Finally, some peace and quiet with her GS 2.   
Opening the door, Gaz slowly walked into the dimly lit living room and plopped down onto the couch. Sinking into the cushions, Gaz snatched up the blue game console on the table in front of her, and turned it on.   
Dib had already run upstairs, a magazine in his hands. Gaz heard the door slam, and smirked. That meant no Dib for, at least an hour, depending on how long the articles were. Sometimes, Gaz wondered why parents were always sad their children were mute.   
  
Zim trudged up the steps, his head lowered. He reached out and tried to push the door open, but instead ran head into it and falling down the steps. Eyes narrowed, Zim stood up from his place on the ground and rubbed his sore back. A little more cautious this time, Zim walked up and tried to push the door open again. It didn't budge.   
Getting a little aggravated, Zim pounded on the door. Nothing. "HA! YOU THINK YOU CAN LOCK ZIM OUT OF HIS OWN BASE!"   
Zim clenched his fists and extended his spider legs, and sent a green wave at the door. There was a little smoke, but nothing happened. Zim went crazy after that, pounding, running into, kicking, even grabbing a random kid from the street and trying to use their head as a battering ram.   
The little girl ran home, crying, "MOMMY!"   
Zim didn't seem to notice, as he was glaring at the door. "You think you've won, but-!"   
Zim had caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and saw GIR walk up to the door slurping a Brain Freezie. The little dog reached out and pulled on the doorknob, causing the door to open and then walked into the house leaving the door standing ajar.   
Zim's eye twitched as he walked in behind GIR, pulling the door closed behind him. "GIR, why did you change the door?"   
There was no response. "GIR!"   
"*Sluuurp*."   
"GIR!! GIR GIR GIR GIR!!!"   
"YAY! I WIN!"   
".....Eh?"   
  
Gaz heard a thump on the floor, as Dib jumped the last few steps and ran towards the door. "I've got it Gaz! I know how to stop Zim!"   
Gaz didn't say anything, trying to concentrate on her game. Though her mind happened to flicker the last time Dib had said that, and ended up encased in Jell-o. That was pretty funny, but Zim had taken it to far when he had tried to encase her too.   
"I'm going to Zim's! If I don't come back tell dad that-"   
"You were really annoying, and should have let me finish my game!"   
"Er, that's not exactly what I was going to say." Dib said, but shot out the door when he saw Gaz start to stand up.   
  
A few hours later, Gaz heard the door open. She had moved exactly once from the spot on the couch, and that was for a soda, which still sat in front of her un-opened.   
Gaz smelt something burning, but was trying to beat the last level of her newest game. Finally, annoying game music started to play, and she flicked the power switch off and placed the GS2 on the table. Then, she turned around to see Dib lying on the floor, next to a twisted piece of metal with drool covering it. "Your hairs on fire."   
Dib's eyes shot open, and he jumped up, "what?!"   
Running into the kitchen, Gaz could hear him slide across the linoleum floor. "Gaz! Where's the fire extinguisher?!"   
Gaz stood up and walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge, ignoring Dib as he ran around the room, searching in odd places.   
Pulling out a poop soda, and a bottle of cooking oil ((An: Weird place for cooking oil.......)) She turned around to face Dib, "dad put all of the...stuff that was in the extinguisher in here. He thought it'd be easier to grip..."   
She held out the bottle of cooking oil.   
Dib, not even looking at the bottle grabbed it and un-screwed the lid before dumping it on his head. And it was quite a shock when his whole head blasted into an inferno. "EEEEEEYAH!"   
Gaz, snickering, walked back towards the living room. She searched for the remote, and soon returned to her seat on the couch. Flipping on the T.V., Gaz started to surf through the channels.   
She felt the seat sink a bit, and knew Dib had sat down. And she was right. Dib was sitting next to her, with very large silver bucket over his head. There were little wisps of steam escaping from the sides. Slowly, Dib tried to lift the bucket off of his head, but found out it was stuck.   
"Ah! Gaz, the bucket shrunk!"   
The violet haired girl chose to ignore that comment, and popped open the newer poop cola and took a sip. Dib, on the other had, was struggling with the bucket, and soon fell face towards the ground. Gaz growled, annoyed at the sound the bucket had made when it had hit the floor.   
Dib, finally managed to pull the bucket off his large head, "My head's not big!" And sat up. His face was scorched and scratched, while his glasses were covered in dirt and black crud. Cautiously, the raven-haired boy felt his hair. It was still in perfect condition, as if nothing had happened to it. Sighing, Dib sat back in the couch and saw the un-opened poop soda on the table.   
He looked at Gaz, and saw her sipping her own, "hey Gaz, can I have that soda?"   
"Sure..." Gaz replied, annoyed.   
"Really?"   
"No."   
"....."   
  
A/N 2: The hair gel part was inspired by my friend Cody! Who...I don't know what he uses for his hair gel! ... Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be mad at him! ....::bangs head on desk:: It's hard being mad at someone like that....Woo, I'm ranting! Or beginning too.... I'm gonna go beat up Germany now! 


	3. And, that's a niner niner!

The Real ZAGR  
  
  
disclaimer: Don't own Invader Zim, or Crazytown's "Butterfly" ::Cough cough, gag::   
  
  
A/N: Wow! I was pretty lost on ideas! Heeeheehee! I am back in the groove! (oO) I hope!   
  
  
  
A few weeks later...........  
  
  
"And as you can see." Zim raised his hand, and the old teacher looked over at him, "Yes, Washington?"   
"Er, uh, yes! What caused these huuumans, to turn against each other and fight?" Zim asked.   
The old teacher blinked. "Did they dooo anything? Any lasers involved? Giant mechs? You know, the basics?" Zim put his fingers together and looked expectantly at the teacher.   
The teacher looked at Zim oddly. Dib hit his head against a black journal, and let out a sigh. Sitting next to him was Torque. "Hey, crazy boy, hey, watch this."   
Dib turned his head, and looked at Torque annoyed. "LIUTENANT, THAT'S A NINER NINER!" Torque shouted, from behind his giant history book.   
The teacher straightened up, and looked around. "NO!!!" He pulled out an old army helmet, from under his desk, then proceeded to jump out the window.   
Torque and most of the class started to laugh, and Dib let out another sigh. Torque looked over at Dib, "see, see, dude, wasn't that cool?"   
"Do you even know what niner niner means?" Dib replied, not looking up.   
"Uh, no, but dude, dude, he jumped out the window!"   
"How fun." Dib replied sarcastically.   
"Dude, your dumb."   
  
Gaz pushed through the crowds of people, as she made her way to her locker. "Hey watch it," one girl hissed, turning around to glare at Gaz. When Gaz didn't make any move, the girl stormed after her and grabbed the gothic girl's shoulder, "hey I was talking to you beeyatch."   
Gaz opened one eye, before pushing the long-nailed hand off of her shoulder. "Yo, I don't dig your rudeness." The girl remarked.   
"Leave me alone, before I have to inflict some serious pain on you," Gaz threatened.   
"You, little pale thing, skinny arms, I don't think so."   
"Do you ever think?" Gaz questioned.   
"I, what?"   
Smirking, Gaz turned and walked away, pushing more people out of the way, leaving the girl dumfounded in the middle of the hall. She finally reached her crappy, yellow locker that was hidden away in a corner. Quickly spinning her combination in, before she threw it open and flung her books in. Then, she was ready for the next period, the impossible-to-fail class, lunch.   
When Gaz entered the cafeteria, she turned and immediately walked over to a far corner table that was inhabited by the school's geekiest. As soon as they caught sight of her, they immediately disappeared from the table, leaving Gaz all to herself. Gaz sat down at the table, and stared at her hands, imagining she was pounding away at villains on her GS2. The table shook, as someone sat down. Not even glancing up, Gaz knew who it was.   
Dib, didn't take much notice of Gaz either. Instead, he sat poking at his food, scanning the cafeteria. His eyes passed right over Zim, who seemed to be trying to fit into the jock table. Instead, his eyes went over to the center table, where most of the cheerleading squad, and a few others were sitting. There, to the right of the laughing blonde was what he was looking for. Spiky purple hair, sparkling purplish blue eyes, Dib let out a dreamy sigh.   
"Uh, hi Dib."   
Dib jumped, as he was knocked out his trance by the deepish voice. He turned his head, and saw a tall, pale and skinny girl standing awkwardly next to his seat.   
"Hey, Gretchen, how's it going," Dib said casually.  
Gretchen smiled, revealing, clear teeth, "You, left this in Social Studies."   
Dib looked at her outstretched hand, which was holding his black journal, "Oh wow thanks!"   
Gretchen flushed, as Dib beamed at her. "Well, that's all, I better go!" Gretchen stuttered, before she turned and hurried off.   
Dib watched her, then looked back at Zita's table. Unfortunately, a huge group of admirers had flocked over, blocking any view of the girl. Dib looked over at Gaz, who was still absorbed in her imaginary game. "Gaz?"   
"Dib, don't talk, I'm in my zone." Gaz replied harshly.   
"But Gaz, you don't even have a game!"   
Gaz turned to him, glaring, "What did you say?"   
"I, uh?" Dib was interrupted, when the whole cheerleader table started to shriek.   
Both the siblings looked over, and saw that a giant boom box was now placed on the once crowded lunch table. One of the girls leaned over and switched it on. "Come my lady, come come my lady. You're my butterfly Sugar. Baby."   
The cheerleaders all squealed again, "It's our song!"   
Gaz got up, heading for the cafeteria doors, "this music is making me sick."   
Dib, didn't notice his sister departure, his eyes were securely focused on the shaking hips of Zita.  
  
Zim, pushed past the ground that had formed around the dancers, and tried to look for a way to escape the horrid 'Earth' music. His eyes landed on the cafeteria doors, and he made his way over to them. Soon, he was in the quiet, dark halls of freedom. Zim scanned the area. The only person there was Dib's sister, who was pounding on the soda machine. "What are you doing, worm baby?" Zim demanded, striding over to her.   
"I, am trying to get a soda." Gaz replied bluntly, "Now go away."   
Zim, a little annoyed at her reaction, leaned against the machine beside hers, "Why do you want me to go away? Is there something your hiding? Your compressing feelings of want, aren't you?"   
Gaz stopped pounding the machine, to turn to him, "No. I'm not compressing them. Zim, I want you to go away, so leave!"   
"Why would I ever listen to you?!" Zim challenged, smirking.   
Gaz punched the soda machine again, and a can of Grape Poop fell into the little compartment. Gaz reached down and picked it up, snapping the lid. She took a long drink, then started to head down the halls. "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! I AM ZIM, YOU DO NOT LEAVE!!!! YOU DO NOT LEAVE ZIM!!"   
  
Back inside the cafeteria, the song had ended, and all the girls giggled and sat back down. Gretchen, stood away in a far corner, watching Dib. His eyes were still focused on Zita, and Gretchen felt a pang in her heart. "Oh, Dib, why do you look at them so. I thought you were better than that. I know your better than that, why can't you see what is right in front of you," Gretchen whispered woefully.   
"What's wrong, Gretchen!"   
Gretchen jumped, as Keef popped up beside her. "Nothing," Gretchen said, turning her head away.   
"It doesn't look like nothing to me! You know, you could use a hug!" Keef replied determinedly . Then, he wrapped his arms around the tall girl, and smiled.   
Gretchen looked down at him uncomfortably, "could you let go of me Keef, please?"  
Keef did so, "Aw, come on buddy! Smile!"   
Gretchen started to step away from the red haired, cheery teen. "I need, to go, do stuff, don't follow me," she commanded, before turning and running into the crowd. "Now, alone again, I shal-ow!" Gretchen was pushed down onto the ground, as the mass of kids started to push towards the door. "OW! Hey! Watch out! Can't you see me!?" 


End file.
